Last week on Thursday, they released our final results.
I had played out all the worst case scenarios in my head.
My last paper had been extremely hard. When I got out, I remember calling mother dearest and telling her to pray for me because, I was scared.She gave me a lot of assurance, but despite all her efforts I remained unconvinced that I had written anything worthy of marks.
Also unlike a lot of my friends I hadn’t used the option to take on an extra course unit as back up incase of an emergency.
My dissertation re-defined writer’s block while creating anxiety I had no idea I was capable of.
So when I opened the document on my phone, I literally had prepared for the worst case scenario while I sang,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding”...
First step was to check that there is no highlighted mark. A highlight means either you failed or that particular mark, has some issues.Phewwww no highlight.
Second step was to ascertain exactly what the scores are and they weren’t too shabby. The really difficult paper earned me a 60% which is the least mark I got.
Whenever the thought of, “it could have been better”, comes through, I remind myself that it could have been worse.
My emotions have been allover the place since and I am deliberately staying away from the fun-snatchers reminding me about the bar course because between now and 7th July me and my house are celebrating.
It has been a really long time coming. (saving the story for the graduation speech)
It has been so expensive. Jesus knows where those millions came from.
It has been hectic and I have some tales of terrifying lecturers, disappearing course work and late nights worshiping at the altar of education.
It got really lonely at some point but we thank God for poker faces.
I am thankful for all of it because between September 2013 and now;
I have learnt invaluable lessons and aged a whole lot.
I started this blog, the fruits of which I am still reaping.
I have met great people, lost some friends and healed from all of it.
I have learnt to literally trust God and completely give up control.
I have had the opportunity to serve people and hopefully inspired some.
I have learnt to breathe. To pace myself. To take a nap or 6. To take a break. To love to be alone.
I have learnt to love the sound of my feet, walking away from things and people not meant for me.(I think Toby Mac said that)
I have learnt that regardless of when I start, when it’s time to hand in work, whether it’s 2 pages or 20, I will always have work.( Bad idea)
I have learnt to tell my story.
I have learnt to celebrate an I am collecting gifts.