Birthday, Lessons & Everything In Between 

My friends Mercy and Sammy forced me into a photo shoot and this is my favorite shot.#ThePowerOfFilters

I was in Virginia in Obama’s America as it was then for my birthday last year. 

This year I spent most of the day in my room at campus juggling between trying to reduce all the International Human Rights law I have studied for 3 months into memorable bullets points for 9am Tuesday morning when  my lecturer puts that exam in my face and tells me to start, responding to almost every single birthday message I received and trying to shut out all the voices in my head telling I am allowed to take a day off on my birth day. It’s almost 10pm and the voices have won.    

It’s easier to reduce my last one year into tears than it is to reduce it into words, but we can’t read tears. So let’s find the words, shall we.

There is a picture with my friends I posted and when my weird-will-never-allow-he-has- a soul- ninja friend Franklin, saw the really long caption he asked, “Why do you have to be a writer all the damn time?” His argument was, that a picture is worth a thousand words so, I should stop adding an extra a thousand words. 

We argued, I think I won, but he refused to concede so we just ate our lunch and moved on. His weird question however was a compliment for me, because more than anything especially this year all I wanted was  to identify as a writer, and in some way he was telling me I was doing something right.

I have learned so much in regard to writing and by so much I mean, I punctuate better. 

I have told my story and  people’s stories who are kind enough to let me.  

 I have travelled this pearl of Africa and shared my experiences. Travelling, I learned gives writing so much insight. There is no need to solicit for depth when you have lived what you are writing about. Beyond writing the academy of life, did not disappoint as well and it taught me valuable lessons and since birthdays are about sharing, allow me tell you some of them.

1.Respecting my process. This is gold because I suffered, whined, cried, prayed, lost sleep, took long walks, lost appetite, read books, listened to sermons, asked God to send a mighty thunder or raging wind and take the cup of suffering from me just so I can find a way to cope with being an adult until I acknowledged, that I need to put some respect on my process. I learned that:

 Some things just come sooner for some people and later for others and playing catch up is a dangerous game.  

Some days just aren’t the days of my dreams.

Some things take time. 

Some people have it easier than others.

Compare and contrast only makes logical sense in an exam, beyond that it’s a recipe for misery.

 Loving people is not as easy as double tapping and one size fits all is as big a lie as Instagram filters.  So  today while I started to slip into that place of feeling bad for missing #KoiKoiSW and turning down birthday plot for a date with my books, I was reminded that, this is my process, and I ought to treat it with respect.

2.Unlearning. This year was the first time I actually encountered this word from my Writer Chic. It’s as empowering and liberating to unlearn certain things as it is to learn from ideologies, to beliefs, to speech,  to dance moves, name it and its “unlearnable”, if you make an effort to.

3.There is nothing wrong with choosing yourself. Self-love is very key, it should become a subject taught in our schools.

4.You can completely and absolutely love someone but you can’t save them.

5.Lion king music is very empowering

6. Graduation is more scary than exciting.

7. Nothing beats celebrating people when they are still alive to experience and hear or read it about it, which explains my extremely long captions on people’s pictures. 

8.Whenever in doubt about the things we don’t have it helps to be grateful.

9. I can’t exhaust all the lessons.

10. In all things God is still the very best.

    Happy Easter. 

    Ps: I love you for reading. 


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