I am fully tempted to come out guns blazing on January and be like “good riddance”, but the truth is except for the heat,  I had a very good first month of the year. 

I was dealing with a serious case of laziness and realizing that I kicked some serious academic butt when my results for last semester were released, with what I considered minimum effort on my part,  has sent me down a dangerous path. 

The beginning of February makes school a bigger reality than I want to deal with, but being my last semester maybe it’s time to hire my serious nemesis.

Otherwise how are you doing?  How far with the whole new year, new you plan if any? 

February being the month of love and all I would like to dedicate this blog to decisions. ( Yeah I know how us single people know how to ruin the party for everyone,but please read on) 

According to psychologists or people google made up, an average conscious adult makes about 35000 decisions everyday. 

Red wine or white or Roze 

Dry or sweet.

To leave or to stay. 

To go to bed, or to watch just one more episode of your favorite series.

To get up or cuddle  with that pillow or it’s human form, one more minute.

To stay on your phone or look up from it and have an actual conversation. 

To add filters before you post that picture or to add #nofilters. 

To pursue your dream, or to remain in your comfort zone and settle. 

To be great or to be good enough.

To exist or to live. 

To be a decent human being or to completely suck at being human. 

To love or to walk away. 

To fit in or to dare to be different..

To keep hurting or to let it go.  

What a Wow! 

We could do this all day but let’s proceed. 

A few weeks ago,a  friend of mine asked if I had reading material on decision making, maybe a book or link to blog I can recommend. 

Well I had nothing, and then I realized, how such little attention I pay  to something I do, 35000 times everyday. 

I also figured, just like everything else in life, there is no rule book. The movies will tell you to go with your gut/listen to your heart, while your pastor will tell you to ask the Holy Spirit,  and we all know how awfully quiet these two can get especially when we are desperate. 

Sometimes in an attempt to listen to your heart without a stethoscope, you hear what you want to hear, because maybe the opposite is too hard. 

You decide to stay a little longer in bed because you convince yourself it’s too cold.

You decide to stay in a hopeless  relationship because leaving would mean being alone and that is scary especially 14th February and all. 

You decide to wallow a little longer in self pity because confronting certain things is  just too uncomfortable or painful or both.  

You tolerate crap friends  because not being liked sucks. 

The list goes on.

One of the biggest lies out there, is that, when it comes to love,  our hearts go rogue and we can’t decide for ourselves.

I am not sorry to be the one to break it to you, but love is just one of those 35000 decisions, the only difference is it falls on a tougher side than choosing what to have for lunch.

Love is a choice, and he/she has not loved you until he/she chooses you, likewise, you haven’t loved yourself until you choose yourself. 

It may or may not be more complicated than that. I absolutely wouldn’t know, I just know its a decision, because when it comes down to it,  love is not the prize, you are! 

In case of emergency, love yourself even more -Ijeoma Uwebinyuo

Happy New Month.

Thank you for deciding to read my blog and I love you for it. 


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