Dear New Dad 

So I  heard his name is among others ,Xolani.

Knowing you, he is lucky you didn’t call him Farmer.

It’s a beautiful  name. 

I was going to say it will land him at the bottom of the class list because alphabetic order and stuff but then I remembered he will probably not end up in a conventional classroom. 

Congratulations. This is where I should have started.

Welcome to your full time job for the rest of your life.

It’s very hectic from what I hear but I doubt that will sway you.

I also here that there is nothing as  humbling as being someone’s parent.

Some days will be better than others. 

You will probably not be able to sleep through the night anymore for a while, so I hope you find a way to cope. 

But more importantly I hope and pray,

That you will realize how much power you have and lack at the same time .

That you will summon the courage to  show up all the time for everything from the least to the greatest.. 

That being a dad will bring out the best in you and tame those parts of you, that you would rather keep hidden.

That you will  believe in Xolani not just when it counts but all the time. 

That you will allow yourself discover fatherhood on your own terms. 

Because there is going to be alot of unsolicited advice coming in. (For example this one) 

That you will know what works for you and stick by it in this era of information overload. 

That you will raise your child and not just help raise him. 

That more importantly God will give you long life .

That you will watch him blossom into a better man than  your already incredible self. 

That you will love him in a way that will make him experience the love of God. ..

Congratulations buddy!

PS: This is a letter to Agbas, my friend who just became a dad and one of my most consistent  readers. 

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