When Feelings Went Rogue

This particular post is very precise,reason? i substituted my vocabulary for my nephew’s and I have no idea how to get it back. My favorite blog buddy Mercy of atim’sthoughts has been on my case to post but for the first time in my life i had an excuse that wasn’t ”I haven’t come up with something yet”. My excuses are, 1. my not so smart phone hit a snug and i had to reset it,given my not so awesome knowledge about gadgets and stuff I forgot to back up the applications so my mobile blogging app was nowhere to be found when I needed it.I could have downloaded it again except MTN Uganda decided that my mobile data bundle should be used up the minute I Ioad it.(Isn’t there a forum through which we can sue these white collar criminals?) Am not  even going to indulge further in my frustrations with MTN because its a whole other post but just wait I get my law degree.So thats why my blog has accumulated cobwebs.(Kunsa’s words not mine). Now to the business of real blogging.

They say ( I have no idea who) that your as strong as your lowest moment so I like to say especially for the sake of writing that your best work is when your experiencing the most raw of emotions.The kind that are so overwhelmingly real but you can not reduce them into words.The day I wrote this and intended to post it-Friday 23rd January 2015 was the kind of day I would have had no problem sleeping through pretending it was not happening.Lucky for it,the day I mean life does not work that way.The sun does not fail to come up because you do not want it to,it may even shine brighter.It was an emotional grill for real,its a day that reminds me of one of the greatest losses I have had to deal with and I do not know how to throw or even attend pity parties I really tried to shove it  away to some box in my mind and I figured I would be too busy to open it.

However of all days all my usually overly enthusiastic lecturers decided not to show up for class,there was no power at hostel so 0 distractions and  lo and behold (I have never understood what that means) it was just me and my little box of emotions.I did laundry which is my least favorite chore and cleaned but still had a lot of time on my hands because of all days I had done the assignment for class due the next day.Its like the universe was harassing me to feel,to not avoid what I knew was happening and of course MTN was being thievy as my sister would say.

I will tell you that I rarely talk about my feelings because well lets face it people have real issues like cancer,war,and every other really disturbing situation happening in the world so Am always of the view that lets keep the trivial things like my feelings out of the equation.I like to think am 100% team count your blessings and yet here we are.I did go through the day feeling like crap and not talking about it and then I remembered I had a journal ( more like a 2013 diary that I have used exactly four times) and a blog that is accumulating cobwebs.

So what happens when your feelings break free from the ‘do not touch’ box you locked them in? The day taught me that you deal with them,you have a good cry or two,take a nap or four or you do what you have to do( that is not a free ticket to exercise poor judgment) and then you write or blog about them.Your allowed to have a day that is not all flowers chocolates and puppies ( I do not even like puppies)and when its all said and done you will still be here unless of course your way of dealing was suicidal.

So i took a trip down feelings’ lane and I got back safe and not sure about the sound part though am working on it because my lecturers eventually did show up as enthusiastic as ever and last I checked there is no course unit called ‘feelings gone rogue’

Hope it was as precise as I thought but and please let me know in the comments what that has been like for you and you never know next time we may throw ourselves one big pity party and  I may even attend.


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  1. mercy22214

    Finally you clear up Your cobwebs. Lets have a Moment of applause for that. *drumrolls*. Okay, now on to the post. I so so love this. I learnt the “pity party” thingy From you. Loll. What Has driven Home for me here is where u talk about pple having cancer and wars so you keep your feellings out of The equation. Thats a good one. I Will have to keep that in mind always. Nice write up you have here. And you had better keep up. Loll. Dont clear the cobwebs only to Let them get back.

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